I Do

Marriage civilizes men. There’s a whole body of research showing how it turns them away from dangerous, anti-social and self-centered activities and toward the needs of a family. Prime Minister David Cameron calls it responsibility, and indirectly cited it as reason for Britain’s riots, and it’s why George W sanctioned the use of federal funds to promote marriage, especially in poor communities.  

When Baleen’s on a work trip, as she is now, and I become a bachelor again, I feel this difference. I don’t take the risks I once did. It’s a shift, one that I recognize as I make the safer selection, and one that produces occasional nostalgia, or some softer form of the same word. For this nostalgia isn’t regret, not even close, and it doesn’t include any desire to return to how things were, but rather a memory of what once was. It’s the Ostalgie that keeps Ossie in Berlin’s crosswalk lights without ever wishing for a return to socialism.

For me, it means whole milk from Straus Family Creamery with the cream top instead of raw milk from Rainbow Grocery, and burritos from Papalote full of potatoes, carrots and avocado, not carne asada. Enormous, enormous sacrifices on my part, but joyful ones.