Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Clever Boy

Whitby laughed yesterday. It seemingly didn't take much, Baleen dropping some interconnected colorful rings from her closed hand and swinging them in front of him, but like the raptors in Jurassic Park that never attacked the same part of the electrified fence twice, he was done with the trick by the time I arrived home.

Baleen told me about it for about ten mintues and we looked at the video on LilTurtle multiple times as he sat right next to us. He gave a little laugh for me, more than he did for Uncle M and Aunt Wizzie this past weekend, but not nearly like what he did for his mom, especially the ones that weren't caught on video.

Good timing, too, because just as Baleen was checking out of Diapers.com with the jumbo pack of tax-free diapers to be delivered on Thursday, she threw a few toys into her shopping cart for the The Dragon Boss.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Houston

Uncle M and Aunt Wizzie left for Houston early this morning, back to choosing light fixtures and negotiating mortgage rates after a weekend of avoiding spit-up and blowouts.

That wasn't all there was, we fit in some tennis, a lobstah party with a whole bunch of Nantucket reds, a trip to Fish in Sausalito (courtesy of Grizzly and Wood Duck), a barbeque with Cooper and Coop's parents, and lots and lots of pictures.

Uncle M even got in a few videos. There's one of bath time and one of The Dragon Boss laughing each time Hook'Em attacks from Uncle M's head. They're not quite going to put The Dragon Boss through college, but they will keep us entertained.


Friday, May 25, 2012

Margarine and Big Emma

Uncle M and Aunt Wizzie arrived from Houston on Friday morning wondering how long before The Dragon Boss threw up on each of them. It happened almost upon arrival in the Mission suburbs, The Dragon Boss tagging first Margarine on his blue oxford, then Wizzie on her blue sweater.

In retaliation, they put him in burnt orange and practiced a day in the life of...Baleen and Hopalong as we put The Dragon Boss in the stroller and visited Sun Fat and then Whole Foods for our seafood paella fixings.

Friday night ended as it normally does, with a 7.15pm bath and a feeding, while the big, big event was the anticipation over how The Dragon Boss would react when Uncle Margarine dipped him in the bath. Would we see the furrowed brow and stare down that he used on PaPa? Or would there be an understanding between the uncle and nephew who supposedly share a likeness and a similar temperament, at least during their first few months on this Earth? I know the answer and you probably do, too. At least Uncle Margarine does.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

MC Kit

We traded an almond cake for a 2012 Mission Cycling jersey. The boys who run it had asked for beer, we brought someting else for their bellies and told them that it had a little liqueur in there. It was one of the two cakes that we made last night, per Lily's instructions.

Baleen snuck a slice out of the other one a little after lunch. She felt a twinge in her throat, wondered if she was allergic to not just hazelnuts but also almonds, and panicked. She took a single Benadryl, then laid down next to the Dragon Boss on his playmat and tried to keep herself up by chomping chocalate. Laying on our living room floor with cocoa beans and Benadryl swimming around in her stomach, Baleen looked a whole lot bigger than The Dragon Boss, but she probably didn't sound any different.

By the time I got home all was back to normal. Baleen was up and talking and The Dragon Boss was laying on his playmat, cooing and smiling, just waiting for me to pick him up. Also waiting for me in the kitchen was an almond cake, almost a whole one, but a little less chocolate than when I left.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Father and Son

Baleen spent her first night without either her son or her husband on Saturday. She went up to Napa for a bachelorette party, leaving us alone with a lot of instructions and a whole lot of milk.

Once she left, we did what guys do, which is call up other guys, watch European soccer, and grill some brats. Cooper and his dad drove over from the Marina. They returned to the Marina that afternoon, only leaving behind one of the seventeen things that they brought over. And I, for the third time I've seen him, forgot to give Coop his Tiger onesie from Uncle Sloan, purchased with a return receipt for 57 Hemlock Circle. For those of you who don't know Uncle Sloan, that's been his mailing address for the last twenty odd years, despite paying rent in about ten different places that aren't walking distance from Tiger Inn.

On Sunday morning, with the Bay to Breakers roadblock keeping Baleen north of us and all the naked people, The Dragon Boss and I found our own way to my soccer game. It started like like any old morning in the Mission suburbs, a 7am bottle, then coffee at Martha & Brothers where I ran into a friend carrying the Times, but then it got a little different. The Dragon Boss took his first ride on public transit (and far from his last, Baleen!) as we took the J to the soccer field, then he hung out in the dugout at Boxer and watched his dad score his first goal of the year before feeding him at halftime. Just like his father before him and his father's father and his father's father's father back in Farcher's Grove.


Friday, May 18, 2012

Visitors

They keep coming to see The Dragon Boss. This week's visitor came from Boston on a gray Wednesday and returned on a warm Saturday night the same way everybody else has, on a plane, and a whole lot happier to have seen the Dragon Boss, but sad to have left him. Even Aunt Erin.

She left a little legacy though. If the Dragon Boss calls out for green apple spinach smoothies six months from now, it'll be Aunt Erin he's asking for. Baleen, who used to start each morning with a bowl of oatmeal, bananas and maple syrup now saves that for a mid-morning snack.

Aunt Erin will get another look at the Dragon Boss in a month. By then, instead of signing for milk by squeezing his hands, as we hope he'll do, he might just sign for a green apple spinach smoothie.


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Shots

The Dragon Boss got two needles almost as long as his thickening thighs stuck into each of them yesterday. He shrieked like he'd just been stabbed twice, but calmed down when he was sitting upright back in Baleen's arms, his favorite position in his favorite place.

Ten minutes later he was deep asleep in the stroller exhausted from the worry about the shots. Baleen could have used a nap, too. She distracted herself during the vaccinations by looking at nothing in particular on her iPhone.

Wood Duck told Baleen that way back when, almost 34 years ago in that little apartment outside Stuttgart, that I had had a very rough night when I got my shots so Baleen and I were prepared for a long one. Happily, the Dragon Boss was asleep when I got home from soccer at 8.30pm and only woke once during the night around 2am before the second set of mild whimpers began around 5.30am. But no shrieks of pain from the Dragon Boss, he was just looking for some help in finding his pacifier.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day

The Dragon Boss loves his mom. A few weeks ago, back before the bottle when I couldn't help out, on the very first night Baleen got mastitis and absolutely needed some rest, he skipped two of his normal after dark feedings and only made her wake up once. Last night, leading into Mother's Day, he slept from 8pm to 3.30am, then straight through to 7.15am. Hot bananas.

When Baleen woke up to find her son and husband dressed and ready, she said she wanted French Toast with strawberries. So off we went to the Streets of Stollerville, complete with our own stroller, looking for French Toast with strawberries. But at 8.30am, Chloe's and Toast already had lines ten children deep, which meant an hour wait in the San Francisco chill, so we put the Dragon Boss in the car and drove to the Mission and Bojangles, where even Ritual Coffee was a few hours away from fully waking up. There, Baleen chose lemon cornmeal pancakes with bananas over sourdough French Toast. We also listened in to the table next to us as we saw a single, older man jotting notes in a journal call over the waiter to do what we thought was try and pass a love note onto a young, cute waitress. Instead, he paid for the breakfast for a family of three a few tables down from us, passing the waiter a note that said, Happy Mother's Day. Your breakfast is on me. Anonymous.

From there, Baleen tried on her present, a girl's size small Patagonia fleece, which is now on it's way back to Salt Lake City for a women's size small, and we had ahi tuna sandwiches from Bi-Rite in the park, the only item in that place that isn't at too great a mark-up. And while Baleen was taking a most deserved nap in the late afternoon, The Dragon Boss told her Happy Mother's Day.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Work

The Dragon Boss visited me at work today. He wanted to take the BART and come on his own, but his mom insisted that she drive him and come along, too. Fine, he said, but you have to let me hang out with dad alone in his office for a few minutes.

At the office, after getting poked and prodded by my colleagues and told that he's the most beautiful baby they've ever seen, he did what he normally does, which is spit up all over mom and squirm around to stare at the ceiling lights.

Mom left for a moment, as she promised, leaving me and The Dragon Boss alone in my office. He looked around for a second, saw some GDP per capita bar graphs with different shades of grey, and spit up all over them. Just another day at the office.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Scandinavia

Well, you just might find us in Oslo this time next year and the year after that and maybe every year thereafter. Save the Children just published their annual State of the World's Mothers. The Nordics dominate the podium like the Chinese do Olympic badminton, occupying 5 of the top 6 slots (you might also find us in Auckland next year, call us late on Tuesday and we'll tell you what Wednesday is looking like).

While we only want what's best for The Dragon Boss, we want what's best for Baleen, too. Right now, that's still here in the United States, where things could be better, but they're not anywhere near those alarming bottom half statistics, like how 1 in 30 women still die from pregnancy related causes.

Plus, the things that the US scores poorly on, like not guaranteeing working mothers paid leave, isn't a problem with Baleen's employer. So at least for now, if you want to visit The Dragon Boss, and I highly recommend you do as he's just added a coo to his other charm, that toothless smile, come on out to California. I recommend it.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Routine

Baleen and I cooked the pastor's pizza on Sunday night for Rowan's parents, the perfect day before prep to serve to four adults with two babies. We ate between 6 and 7pm, bathed The Dragon Boss while we transitioned to dessert, then he got his dinner just after 7 in the bright, back lights of the kitchen.

I've been feeding him the bottle at this final, evening feed as he's been protesting anything Baleen offers him with a shrill, I want my six ounces now! The bottle takes about six or seven minutes to give him what he needs while it takes him up to an hour with Baleen. She still takes most of the night feeds.

I put him down awake, but on his way to sleep I thought as I hurried back to the kitchen to make sure Baleen hadn't eaten all of the Anthony's Cookies that Rowan's parents brought over. I found a plate of cookies, but The Dragon Boss wasn't quite ready for sleep so Baleen went on in and recited Brown Bear, Brown Bear from memory as she has for each of the last few nights. Tonight, the Dragon Boss will get his final evening feed in his darkened bedroom while I'll still run into the kitchen to see if any of the half dozen cookies that were in the Anthony's box when I left this morning are still there. And yes, I did count before I left. Half a dozen.



Friday, May 4, 2012

Sun Fat

There's another first here in the Mission suburbs. I've cooked my first full dinner since The Dragon Boss' arrival. It was comfort fare, spicy linguini with clams, with my go-to ingredient, pasta, but Baleen style, heavy on everything else, lighter on the pasta. The everything else, in this case, came from our new favorite store, Sun Fat Seafood over on Mission by 22nd. Grizzly saw it on one of his many, I'm off to the Mission, walks while he was here and he said it looked Whole Foods quality at a fraction of the price; Yelp just confirmed it.

So it's two pounds of rinsed and scrubbed live clams to go along with a half pound of pasta, a 4:1 ratio in favor of everything else (not including the cheese, tomatoes, clam juice and parsley) over the pasta. That's the inverted ratio of our topsy-turvy life right now, very different from how things used to be back in 2005, back before Baleen and The Dragon Boss when the everything else would get as close to my pound of pasta as the vermouth would to Hitchcock's martinis*.

The Dragon Boss will get his share around 1am, unless I give him the bottle then which means he'll have to wait until tomorrow for some clams. That makes clams his newest fish, following lots of salmon, sole, halibut and shrimp, while he still hasn't had what the Bay Area's famous for, the dungeness crab, or the lobstah his mom grew up on. There's plenty of time for all that.



*The closest I want vermouth to my martini is staring at the bottle across the room, Alfred Hitchcock, a quote normally attributed to Winston Churchill, who said about the martini that The only way to make a martini is with ice-cold gin, and a bow in the direction of France.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Occupy Hawk Hill

200 policemen on the Golden Gate Bridge welcomed me back to Hawk Hill yesterday morning after an 8 week absence. Yet a few hours earlier, around 5am, it looked like it wasn't going to happen. The Dragon Boss had been a little feisty with Baleen at midnight, announcing a half hour hunger strike with some shrieks and the 'ol Stiff as a Board routine (where he looks like he's trying to stand as tall as a West Point plebe), and I thought that maybe Baleen could use that extra help at the 7am feed. But at 6am, when he finally fell asleep after an active, audible hour of trying to fill his diaper, I threw on the spandex and sprinted out the door.

It felt great to be back on the bike, but even better to see everybody at the Presidio Gate, where I had fifteen seconds to tell everybody about The Dragon Boss before we rolled out. At the Start, I was yelling at St Nick and Alec Baldwin for their chatty pace, asking if they wanted a cup holder on the handlebars for some coffee. St Nick took off and I followed, but only for a few hundred yards. I lost him at the first turn past the Start, about a mile short of where I used to lose him, and I was alone in the Flats, well behind the hummingbirds, but in front of an unknown group of warm weather riders behind me. Standing still, or crawling along to wait for that unknown group would have been the best option, but your heart doesn't want that, even if your legs do, so I pedalled along until a splinter group of two caught me a little before the Circle. I hung on to that last wheel for as long as I could, looking over my shoulder for that unkown group that I knew was coming.

And come they did, about three of them passing me after the Circle, meaning I hit the top in ninth or tenth in 8.33, my second slowest recorded time, 27th out of 28th, and just barely before Laurent Blanc, another recovering new father. That's a time that would have made me wince a few months ago, but not this time. I had Baleen and The Dragon Boss waiting for me at home.