The Dragon Boss met his aunt, Shrimp Jr, for the first time yesterday. Like others before her, she arrived bearing gifts, one of which she made him put on right then and there. The Dragon Boss wanted to speak up and say, Oh, man, it's not like I make you put on shirts when I send them to you or make you drink a beer the second I give you a koozy, but there's no use protesting, you're going to stuff this shirt over my face whether I cry out or not.
Instead, he said, I'll withold my smile from you. It's only been displayed once, and those who study my kind say it wasn't actually a smile, as newborns can't smile, but those are the same people who said newborns might pretend they don't like swaddles when they really do.
I did and I don't. I smiled for my dad when he held me sideways in the hospital and I like it when my mom leaves me enough room in my swaddle to break out my right arm so I look like I'm wearing what Will Ferrell would wear were he a Roman senator, a fleece toga with one arm free to wave about to support my oratory - or to try and stuff all my fingers in my mouth.
Instead, he said, I'll withold my smile from you. It's only been displayed once, and those who study my kind say it wasn't actually a smile, as newborns can't smile, but those are the same people who said newborns might pretend they don't like swaddles when they really do.
I did and I don't. I smiled for my dad when he held me sideways in the hospital and I like it when my mom leaves me enough room in my swaddle to break out my right arm so I look like I'm wearing what Will Ferrell would wear were he a Roman senator, a fleece toga with one arm free to wave about to support my oratory - or to try and stuff all my fingers in my mouth.
1 comment:
Ask for some tickets
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